maybe i need to change the name of my blog to something else,
maybe not, i'm still in pursuit of gratitude, even though i don't feel too much gratitude right now.
i was hoping for a little more attention than i've been getting, is that wrong? i want someone to notice me!
this is obviously not the way to do that! this is just an online diary. i know that.
i find myself feeling sorry for myself at night. i have been having one glass of wine too many, i cry for no apparent reason. no, the reason is apparent, but only to me. i don't really like myself very much. i'm a middle aged, over weight widow. i don't want to live in the past, but it keeps overwhelming me. i went to a therapist for a while. he was very nice, but i need to learn to deal with my shit on my own. there's no one else who will. everyone i know has their own problems. so i'm dumping mine on a blog that no one reads...how pathetic is that?????????