Saturday, December 25, 2010

i know it shouldn't matter-

but it does...
i love shopping for people at christmas..put a lot of thought into it, because i want to
but i feel a little sad this christmas night- i didn't receive a single gift from my family-not even a candy cane
it hurts a lot, even though i know it shouldn't.
my friend at school gave me a lovely candle, for which i am very grateful
my sister gave me my birthday present early-thanks nancy
i know it shouldn't matter, but it does.....

Friday, December 17, 2010

Thursday, November 18, 2010

it's always something

it's either a leaky water heater
job's too stressful
jeans that were baggy last week are tight-
gaining weight, what???
a broken oven, then the check engine light won't turn off
oh look! a nail in my tire!!!!!
ain't life grand???

Sunday, November 7, 2010

BEAUTIFUL BUTTERFLY


A symbol of hope

must try this! (trust the universe AND stitch words)


loving this one! i'd like to think i have a few good projects left in me. there's a basket
full of embroidery floss, needles and fabric waiting to be transformed
into something stitchy and beautiful!

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

feeling more positive today. i know i am not alone. i have many people who love me. i get very sad and lonely sometimes, and it can be very overwhelming. i'm definitely not hopeless! when i go off on a tangent like i did last night, i read it the next day and am grateful i don't feel that way! the feelings come and go. that's normal isn't it?

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

maybe i need to change the name of my blog to something else,
maybe not, i'm still in pursuit of gratitude, even though i don't feel too much gratitude right now.
i was hoping for a little more attention than i've been getting, is that wrong? i want someone to notice me!
this is obviously not the way to do that! this is just an online diary. i know that.
i find myself feeling sorry for myself at night. i have been having one glass of wine too many, i cry for no apparent reason. no, the reason is apparent, but only to me. i don't really like myself very much. i'm a middle aged, over weight widow. i don't want to live in the past, but it keeps overwhelming me. i went to a therapist for a while. he was very nice, but i need to learn to deal with my shit on my own. there's no one else who will. everyone i know has their own problems. so i'm dumping mine on a blog that no one reads...how pathetic is that?????????

trying to be my own best friend...we're not getting along right now!

Thursday, October 28, 2010

Friday, September 17, 2010

The first step to better times is to imagine them!

Friday, September 3, 2010

The Moody Blues - The Best Way To Travel

thinking thinking thinking thinking thinking..........

Is anybody listening? .......helloooo!

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